CARRYING THE BODY PART 3 BY JEFFREY LO
In darkness, the sound of someone peeing.
Lights slowly rise on the next night. It’s dark. A full day of travelling has passed.
ZAC, rolling left and right on the ground next to Jesus in a body bag. SIAH is off to the side peeing.
Both men are drunk.
SIAH
Ohmygodthisfeelssogood….
ZAC
Uhhuh….
SIAH
I was holding it in for so long…
ZAC
Then let it all out man…
ZAC rolls around towards the body bag and holds it from behind, spooning it.
ZAC(cont’d)
I’m so tired…
SIAH finishes peeing and turns around to see ZAC spooning Jesus in a body bag. SIAH bursts into laughter.
ZAC(cont’d)
What?
SIAH
Look at yourself.
ZAC
What?
SIAH
You’re spooning the son of God.
ZAC
What?
ZAC realizes what he’s doing and leaps up from the ground.
ZAC(cont’d)
AHHHHHHHHHHSHITSHIHTSHIHT!
SIAH laughs even harder.
Eventually, ZAC joins in.
SIAH
Oh man… If he were alive…
ZAC
I’d never hear the end of it.
SIAH
How funny…
The laughter dies down.
SIAH(cont’d)
Do we have anymore wine?
ZAC
Nope. All out.
Beat.
SIAH
I miss him.
ZAC
Yeah, me too. As much wild shit as he would put us through… me too.
SIAH
He was a good friend.
ZAC
A real good friend.
SIAH
It was a requirement that we were good friends too –
ZAC
Oh, we had to be AMAZING friends to that guy –
SIAH
But he was good too…
(Beat)
Hey Zac.
ZAC
Yeah?
SIAH
You’re a good friend too.
ZAC
Thanks Siah.
Silence.
SIAH
This is where you say I’m a good friend too.
ZAC
Of course you’re a good friend too.
SIAH
No. Too late.
ZAC
What?
SIAH
It’s too late. It should’ve come natural but it didn’t.
ZAC
What if I was just relishing in you calling me a good friend?
Pause.
SIAH
Were you?
ZAC
No.
SIAH
BAH!
ZAC
Come on Siah, are you really upset?
SIAH
No. Not really.
ZAC
Good.
SIAH
But it woulda been, you know, nice if your first impulse was to call me a good friend too…
ZAC
Alright… alright…
Well, for what it’s worth.
I love you man.
SIAH sits up and looks at ZAC.
This means a lot to him.
SIAH
I love you too, man.
Pause.
ZAC
This week has fucking sucked.
SIAH
Sucked SO HARD.
ZAC
And today has been nuts.
SIAH
You’ve got that right.
ZAC
And if I had to go through this craziness with anyone, Siah…
I’m glad it was you.
SIAH
Really?
ZAC
Really.
SIAH
Not Matthew? Not Mark?
ZAC
No.
SIAH
Luke or John?
ZAC
Not even Luke or John.
SIAH
Judas?
ZAC
Fuck that guy.
SIAH and ZAC share a chuckle.
ZAC(cont’d)
This is us man… Zac and Siah.
SIAH
Zac and Siah… on one more mission with our boy Jesus.
ZAC
One last mission…
SIAH lifts up an imaginary glass.
ZAC(cont’d)
What are you doing?
SIAH
A toast! We’re out of wine so…
Come on, lift your glass!
ZAC plays along and lifts up his imaginary glass.
SIAH(cont’d)
To Zac.
Siah.
And Jesus in a Body Bag!
ZAC and SIAH toast.