CARRYING THE BODY PART 2 BY JEFFREY LO
ZAC and SIAH continue travelling as they carry Jesus in a body bag. They have been travelling for nearly a full day.
After some time, SIAH starts to get fidgeting.
SIAH
I need to –
ZAC
What are you doing?
SIAH’s fidgeting gets more intense.
SIAH
I gotta –
ZAC
Josiah, what is going on with you? You are making it really hard to hold onto –
SIAH makes a sudden, jolting motion. SIAH then freezes in an odd pose.
SIAH
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. OwOwOwOwwwwwwww!
ZAC
What is going on?
SIAH
Cramp….
ZAC
Cramp?
SIAH
Cramp…
ZAC
Where?
SIAH
CRAMP!!!!!!
SIAH drops Jesus in a body bag. ZAC jumps and can’t help but to drop his side of Jesus as well.
Jesus in a body bag falls to the ground.
ZAC
Shit!
Jesus’ arm has fallen out of the body bag. Neither ZAC or SIAH notice Jesus’ arm but we clearly see Jesus’ black. melanin-pumped arm hanging from outside the body bag.
SIAH limps around to try a d walk off his cramp.
SIAH
Owwwwww.
ZAC
Try to stretch it out.
SIAH
Good idea.
SIAH begins to stretch. As he does so he begins breath loudly in the way a mother giving birth to a child would breath.
SIAH(cont’d)
Hee Hee Hoo…..
Hee Hee Hoo….
Hee Hee Hoo….
ZAC takes a seat next to Jesus in a body bag.
ZAC
You tell me when you’re good to go again.
SIAH
Alright.
Hee Hee Hoo….
Hee Hee Hoo…
Hee Hee Hoo…
SIAH changes his stretching pose. It’s unclear if either pose has been effective.
ZAC closes his eyes. He takes a moment to meditate to the surprisingly calm sounds of SIAH’s childbirth breathing.
ZAC takes one deep breath.
Pause.
ZAC takes another deep breath.
Pause.
ZAC starts childbirth breathing in line with SIAH.
ZAC and SIAH
Hee Hee Hoo….
Hee Hee Hoo….
Hee Hee Hoo….
Hee Hee Hoo….
ZAC opens his eyes.
SIAH
Hee Hee Hoo…
ZAC looks to his side and notices Jesus’ arm hanging out.
ZAC
AH!
SIAH
Heeeeeeee. Heeeeeeee. Hoooooooooooo.
ZAC carefully puts Jesus’ arm back in the body bag and zips it back up.
ZAC sits quietly to the sound of SIAH’s breathing.
SIAH (cont’d
Heeeeeeee. Heeeeeeee. Hoooooooooooo.
Heeeeeeee. Heeeeeeee. Hoooooooooooo.
Heeeeeeee. Heeeeeeee. Hoooooooooooo.
Silence.
Beat.
ZAC
How you doing?
SIAH
Better I think.
ZAC
Good.
SIAH makes his way back to ZAC.
SIAH
(Pointing to Jesus:)
How’s he doing?
ZAC shrugs.
SIAH approaches the body bag and unzips it. The two of them look inside. It is still shocking for them to see.
Silence.
SIAH(cont’d)
Jesus Christ…
Beat.
ZAC
Zip him back up.
Zip him back up.
Put Jesus back in the body bag.
SIAH
You’re right.
J wouldn’t want us to see him like this…
SIAH zips the body bag back up.
SIAH(cont’d)
Should we keep going?
ZAC
Can you use a rest?
SIAH
I can keep going.
ZAC
Cause I can use a rest.
SIAH melts to the ground.
SIAH
Thank God.
ZAC
I think we need some sleep.
Right on cue, SIAH yawns.
SIAH
I think you’re right…
ZAC and SIAH lie down on the ground.
ZAC
This dirt is not very comfortable…
SIAH
What do you expect?
ZAC
True…
SIAH
(Chuckling:)
You can always use the body bag as a pillow…
ZAC
You’re terrible.
ZAC and SIAH chuckle together.
Then, for ZAC, the chuckle becomes much fuller laughter.
SIAH
What?
ZAC
You know what else I could use as a pillow right now?
SIAH
What?
ZAC
Jesus’ promo tunics.
SIAH bursts into laughter with ZAC.
SIAH
Oh my God, I forgot about those…
ZAC
Remember when he showed them to us?
SIAH
AFTER he already got them all made.
ZAC
Hey guys, look what I got made.
What do you think?
I figure we could help spread the word by giving away these tunics to potential followers.
You know?
Then they could wear them and folks who see everyone wearing these sweet tunics can be like – where did you get that tunic, brother?
And then the catch phrase can spread.
Just like the good news.
I think we could use a catch phrase.
SIAH laughs more.
SIAH
A catch phrase on clothing…
ZAC and SIAH
“What Would Jesus Do?”
ZAC and SIAH share an even bigger laugh.
ZAC
It’s a good thing we made him burn them.
SIAH
Who would wear something like that?
No one. Not even I would wear one of those.
ZAC
We were trying to fill the world with good people not fill the world with a bunch of Jesus clones!
SIAH
Could you imagine a world full of Jesus clones?
ZAC
It’d be terrible.
SIAH
Nothing would ever get done. It would just be people sitting down philosophizing and telling parable after parable after parable…
ZAC
What a stupid catch phrase…
SIAH
What a stupid idea.
Hands down the stupidest idea J ever had…
The laughter fades to a sudden heaviness.
ZAC
Well. Second stupidest idea.
(Pause)
That idea didn’t end with him dead.
Silence.
Beat.
ZAC(cont’d)
Hey. Let’s get some rest. We have another long day of travel ahead of us.