Lights up on SAL.
A spotlight on SAL.
SAL is staring at us.
SAL: How is everything?
Silence.
Perhaps 5 minutes pass.
SAL: How is everything?
More silence.
Perhaps 5 more minutes.
Lights fade.
END OF PLAY.
TURTLE and BEAR sitting somewhere you might find a turtle and a bear.
TURTLE: Do bears eat me?
BEAR: What?
TURTLE: Do bears eat me?
BEAR: What do you mean?
TURTLE: Do bears eat turtles?
BEAR: Oh.
TURTLE: I am a turtle.
BEAR: I see that.
TURTLE: Would you eat me?
BEAR: No.
TURTLE: So bears don’t eat me.
BEAR: Are you asking if bears eat turtles?
TURTLE: Yes.
BEAR: Why?
TURTLE: Because I am next to a large bear.
BEAR: Yes.
TURTLE: What?
BEAR: Yes. Bears eat turtles.
TURTLE: WHAT!?
BEAR: Beats eat turtles.
TURTLE starts to run away which – actually – is still a really slow walk.
TURTLE: LIAR!
BEAR: How am I liar?
TURTLE: You just said you wouldn’t eat me.
BEAR: I know.
TURTLE: But then you said bears eat turtles!
BEAR: I know.
TURTLE: So you’re a liar!
BEAR: No I’m not!
TURTLE: HOW!?
BEAR: Because I meant it when I said I would not eat you.
TURTLE stops running away.
TURTLE: You wouldn’t?
BEAR: No.
TURTLE: But bears eat turtles.
BEAR: Yes. But this bear would not eat this turtle.
Pause.
TURTLE: Why not?
BEAR: Because we’ve had a conversation… That’d be weird at this point.
Pause.
TURTLE: Huh.
Blackout.
END OF PLAY.
REY and TAYLOR eating sandwiches at home.
REY opens his mouth.
TAYLOR stares at him.
Silence.
TAYLOR: … yes?
REY hesitates.
REY closes his mouth.
TAYLOR continues to stare at him.
Pause.
REY opens his mouth again.
Silence.
TAYLOR looks closer.
TAYLOR: … nothing?
Silence.
Pause.
REY closes his mouth.
REY shrugs.
TAYLOR: … Cool bro.
Blackout.
END OF PLAY.
Lights up.
Projection: Saturday.
MOM knocks at the door.
MOM: Son…
SON: What?
MOM: How are you doing?
SON: Not good…
MOM: It’s the first day of summer vacation.
SON: I know.
MOM: Do you want to do anything?
SON: No.
MOM: Really?
SON: I just want to be alone.
MOM: Why?
SON: … because that’s what I want.
MOM: … ok.
Lights shift.
Projection: Sunday.
MOM knocks at the door.
MOM: Son.
SON: Not today mom.
MOM: I’m leaving for mass in a 15 minutes.
SON: Ok.
MOM: Are you going to join me?
No answer.
MOM: Do you want to join me?
SON: No.
MOM: Why?
SON: I’m not feeling well.
MOM: Do you feel sick?
SON: No.
MOM: How do you feel?
SON: Not well. I told you. I want to be alone.
MOM: Ok…
Lights shift.
Projection: Monday.
MOM knocks at the door.
MOM: Son…
No answer.
MOM: It’s been three days…
No answer.
MOM: I’m going to open the door, ok?
No answer.
MOM: I’m coming in now…
MOM opens the door.
No one is there.
MOM looks around, worried.
After a moment SON approaches her from behind.
SON: Hey.
MOM: Oh! You startled me.
SON: Sorry.
MOM: For what?
SON: Startling you.
MOM: Oh.
SON starts to walk away.
MOM: Where are you going?
SON: I think I’m going to go to the park and see if anyone is playing basketball.
MOM: Oh… Did you want something to eat?
SON: I ate earlier. I’m not hungry right now. Probably when I get back?
MOM: Ok…
SON starts to exit.
MOM: Son.
SON: Yeah?
MOM: How are you feeling?
SON: What do you mean?
MOM: Are you doing better?
Pause.
SON: Maybe? I dunno.
Pause.
SON: I’m gonna go to the park now.
MOM: Ok…
SON exits.
MOM: Love you…
Lights fade.
END OF PLAY.
ONE: Are you here?
TWO: Yep.
ONE: Is there a San Jose in California?
TWO: Yep.
ONE: Do you like pizza?
TWO: Yep.
ONE: Would eating a full large sized pizza by yourself be bad for you?
TWO: Yep.
ONE: Would a salad be better?
TWO: Yep.
ONE: Would you rather eat the pizza?
TWO: Yep.
ONE: Are you talking to me?
TWO: Yep.
ONE: Am I asking you a lot of questions?
TWO: Yep.
ONE: Did Lebron James sign with the LA Lakers?
TWO: Yep.
ONE: Is water wet?
TWO: Yep.
ONE: Is the sky blue?
TWO: Yep.
ONE: Is the world in a good place?
Silence.
Blackout.
END OF PLAY.
An OLD MAN sits on a park bench.
OLD MAN wears a pair of sunglasses and is looking straight forward.
After some time passes, YOUNG RAPPER enters.
YOUNG RAPPER is carrying a Bluetooth speaker.
YOUNG RAPPER puts his Bluetooth speaker down and takes his phone out.
YOUNG RAPPER plays a track.
YOUNG RAPPER starts to mumble rap.
YOUNG RAPPER:
I got hoes, I got hoes, I got hoes.
I got moes, I got moes, I got moes.
Hoes get lows they get lows they get lows.
You feel me feel me feel me feel me feel me?
Feel me? Feel me? Feel me? Feel me? Feel me?
OLD MAN’s head slowly turns towards YOUNG RAPPER.
YOUNG RAPPER’S mumble rap are at screams at this point.
YOUNG RAPPER:
UGH! FEEL! UGH FEEL!
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!
UGH FEEL! UGH FEEL! UGH FEEL!
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEEEEAAAAAH!
YOUNG RAPPER turns off the track and looks at OLD MAN.
OLD MAN: What are you talking about?
Blackout.
END OF PLAY.
ASIAN MAN walks down the street.
Behind ASIAN MAN is BLACK MAN.
ASIAN MAN clocks BLACK MAN behind him.
ASIAN MAN drops a dollar on the floor.
BLACK MAN walks a little faster to pick up the dropped dollar.
BLACK MAN: Hold up!
ASIAN MAN quickly turns around with his hands up.
ASIAN MAN: OHMYGODDON’TKILLME! JUSTTAKEMYMONEYPLEASE!
BLACK MAN looks at ASIAN MAN, holding the dollar.
BLACK MAN: You dropped this dollar.
Silence.
ASIAN MAN: Oh...
Pause.
BLACK MAN (Dissapointed): What the fuck?
Blackout.
END OF PLAY.
DAISY at an all you can eat Brazilian BBQ restaurant.
A GAUCHO with a sword of steak approaches her.
GAUCHO: Hello miss.
DAISY: Hello.
GAUCHO: Some Top Sirloing for you?
DAISY: Yes please.
GAUCHO: tell me when.
DAISY: Ok.
GAUCHO slices a piece of meat for her.
GAUCHO slices another piece of meat for her.
GAUCHO slices another piece of meat for her.
GAUCHO slices another piece of meat for her.
GAUCHO slices another piece of meat for her.
Pause.
GAUCHO looks at DAISY, waiting for her to say when.
No response.
GAUCHO slices another piece of meat for her.
GAUCHO slices another piece of meat for her.
GAUCHO slices another piece of meat for her.
Pause.
GAUCHO slices another piece of meat for her.
GAUCHO slices another piece of meat for her.
GAUCHO slices another piece of meat for her.
Pause.
DAISY smiles.
GAUCHO slices another piece of meat for her.
GAUCHO slices another piece of meat for her.
Lights fade as GAUCHO slices another piece of meat for her.
END OF PLAY.
A pub, late at night.
RESTON, 50, plays darts.
MAX, his 22 year old son, sits at a table nearby.
MAX: Dad.
RESTON throws a dart.
MAX: Dad.
RESTON throws a dart.
MAX: Dad.
RESTON throws a dart.
MAX: Wanna talk?
RESTON walks to the dart board and retrieves his three darts.
MAX: Ok…
Pause.
MAX: Dad.
RESTON throws a dart.
MAX: Dad.
RESTON throws a dart.
MAX: Dad.
RESTON throws a dart.
MAX: Wanna talk?
RESTON walks to the dart board and retrieves his three darts.
MAX: Fine…
Pause.
MAX: Can I play?
RESTON throws a dart.
MAX: I can play with you.
RESTON throws a dart.
MAX: Teach me to play?
RESTON throws a dart.
Pause.
MAX stands up and retrieves the three darts from the board.
RESTON suddenly walks away.
RESTON: It was good seeing you son.
RESTON exits the pub.
Silence.
MAX: FUCK!
Blackout.
END OF PLAY.
On a garage floor are LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR and RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE.
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR is lying on its side.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE stands tall.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE probably talks with a British accent.
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR probably talks like a middle schooler.
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: What are you looking at?
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: Nothing.
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: Shut up. You’re looking at me.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: How do you know?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: I can see you looking at me.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: If you could see me looking at you then why are you asking?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: Why are you looking at me?
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: I’ve never seen you here before.
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: So?
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: I’m the tallest of the shoes here so I can see everything around and I’ve never seen you.
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: And I repeat… so?
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: Are you new?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: Do I look new?
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: … No.
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: I look old.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: I wasn’t going to –
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: I look old!
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: Ok, ok, you look old.
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: I’ve been here for a looooooong time.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: How long?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: Longer than you.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: What? No!
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: What? YES!
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: How have I not noticed you?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: I’ve been hidden.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: Hidden?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: I’ve been in the back. Unused. Unneeded.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: How did you make it out?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: I don’t know. I was behind the laundry hamper for quite some time so I probably got tipped over when he was doing laundry or something…
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: Wow…
Beat.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: Can I ask you a question?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: Sure.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: Promise not to be offended?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: That’s a stupid thing to promise. Just ask the question.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: If you were unused and unneeded… why didn’t he get rid of you?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: No clue… I was an early shoe. A former favorite shoe. Maybe sentimentality? Or maybe he just forgot about me. Hard to say.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: Wow…
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: Yeah.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: So you think he either kept you for the memory of you or he kept you because he lost his memory of you?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: Yep.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: And now that you’re out again… what do you plan to do?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: Wait.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: For what?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: For him to see me… So I can figure my fate.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: Your fate?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: If he kept me for memories… he’ll put me away nicely. Heck, he might even use me… if he just forgot about me… it’s the end for me.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: The end for you?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: The end.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: Well then why don’t you hide!?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: Why should I?
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: So you don’t get thrown away!
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: But if it’s meant to be my end, then let it be… If I have a different purpose then great. But either way… it is what it is…
Silence.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: Wow…
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: Yep.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: So we’ll just sit here?
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: Yep.
RIGHT ALDO DRESS SHOE: Ok…
LEFT CHUCK TAYLOR: Yep…
Lights fade.
END OF PLAY.