EXCEPTIONS BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)
SELSDON, a 71 year old man celebrating his birthday at a bar.
SELSDON:
I would like to thank you all for being here today to celebrate
My 71st birthday
I know that before today, I knew
Basically
None of you
But nevertheless
I do appreciate you being here with me
So with that
I want to propose a toast
SELSDON raises a toast.
SELSDON:
To living life with no regrets
For I lived my life
And I have no regrets
SELSDON almost drinks but stops.
SELSDON:
Except for the time I left my wife
That was a mistake
I miss her everyday
But other than that
Let’s toast
No regrets
SELSDON almost drinks but stops again.
SELSDON:
Well actually
Now that I think of it harder
There was that one time that I drank
Much like I’m doing tonight
And then I went ahead
Despite my better judgement
And drove home
Crashed the car
That wasn’t great
That’s a regret
Yeah
That’s a regret
But other than those two
Not a single regret
SELSDON almost drinks but stops yet again.
SELSDON:
You know
I didn’t go to my daughter’s wedding
And
I wish I was there
Of course I wish I was there
I was so mad at the time though
And I thought I wouldn’t care
But I should’ve known I would care
Because
Common sense
You know
But
Other than that
SELSDON puts his drink down.
SELSDON lets out a sigh.
SELSDON:
Life’s been hard
And really
It’s kind of been my fault
Or
Really been my fault
If I’m being honest with myself
Pause.
SELSDON:
Life’s been hard
I better get out of here
SELSDON exits
END OF PLAY.