GOLD MEDAL TIRED BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)
Four millennial co-workers sitting in their office break room.
ONE: I am so tired.
TWO: Me too.
THREE: Sooooo tired.
FOUR: I am like, literally, SO TIRED.
They all let out a sigh.
ONE: I am so tired I could sleep for ten hours straight.
TWO: I am so tired I could sleep for eleven hours straight.
THREE: I am so tired I could sleep for TWELVE hours straight.
ONE and TWO look at THREE, half in shock, half impressed.
FOUR: I am so tired, a single hour of sleep would feel like heaven.
ONE, TWO and THREE look at FOUR.
That was a good one.
FOUR wins.
FOUR: Today, I had to juggle three projects at the same time.
TWO: Yesterday, I stayed in till 9 PM to finish the two projects assigned to me AT THE LAST SECOND and then when I came back at 6 AM today, management called me in to dump ANOTHER TWO PROJECTS on me.
THREE and FOUR are impressed…
That is a LOT of projects.
ONE: With the six projects Amy put on my desk on Friday, I spent the whole weekend here working. Friday was an all nighter. Saturday, I was fortunate to get two hours of sleep. Sunday, I was going to get some sleep but then my mom called me because she was having trouble connecting her wi-fi to her new iPhone.
TWO, THREE and FOUR gasp.
ONE: Yeah… so Sunday… well… I’m still hoping to get my Sunday sleep in at some point…
THREE: It’s Tuesday…
ONE: It is indeed Tuesday…
ONE wins that round.
ONE: I bet, this week I’ll get called into my other job.
THREE: I have to work my other job regularly just to pay the rent.
ONE, TWO and FOUR groan.
FOUR: Rent…
TWO: Tell me about it.
ONE: The Bay Area is getting ridiculous.
THREE: Getting ridiculous? It’s been ridiculous for ages.
ONE: I have to pay $950 to share a 2 bedroom apartment with FOUR people.
TWO: I have to pay $1300 for an in-law unit in someone’s house without a washer, dryer OR kitchen.
THREE: Does it include utilities?
TWO: HELL NO!
ONE: Sheesh…
FOUR: I pay $800 a month.
TWO: Where’d you get that deal?
ONE: That’s not too bad.
TWO: For a living room couch.
All four of them curse the Bay Area.
THREE: I have to pay $2600 for the house I live in. Just to have a decent amount of space for me and my children.
Silence.
ONE: You have children?
THREE: Yeah. You didn't know?
ONE: I must have been too busy and tired to pay attention.
TWO: How many?
THREE: Twins.
FOUR: TWINS!?
THREE: Twins.
Silence.
ONE: Well, shit. You’re the most tired.
TWO: Yeah.
ONE: I can't have kids.
TWO: I just hate kids.
ONE, THREE and FOUR look at TWO - concerned.
TWO: I mean... "hate" is an exaggeration...
ONE, THREE and FOUR decide to let that one go.
FOUR: Yeah, I can’t deal with kids. I can barely deal with myself.
All four eat in silence for a moment.
All four let out a sigh.
ALL FOUR: This talk was tiring…
All four look at the time.
All four get back to work.
END OF PLAY.