WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING? BY JEFFREY LO
(DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)
TANYA her room.
TANYA getting ready for a party.
TANYA in front of her mirror.
She is wearing a dress.
She is looking at herself in the dress.
TANYA is unsure about the dress.
TANYA is unsure about the dress even thought she has no reason to be unsure of the dress.
It’s a nice dress.
Maybe?
Is it a nice dress?
God, it’s a terrible dress.
It looks horrible.
But didn’t it look so nice on the rack?
Maybe it was a nice dress but it looks bad on TANYA.
Maybe it was a beautiful dress but it looks terrible on TANYA.
Maybe it was a GORGEOUS dress but it looks HORRENDOUS on TANYA.
Pause.
What is she doing?
This is a nice dress.
This dress looks nice.
This dress looks nice on her.
TANYA begins to talk to herself.
TANYA: You look good Tanya.
TANYA starts to pump herself up.
TANYA: You look amazing Tanya.
TANYA starts to believe what she is saying.
TANYA: DAAAAAAYUM girl! YOU LOOK SEXY!
TANYA takes it a bit too far.
TANYA: MM! MMM! MMMM! I would eat you up GURL!
TANYA laughs at herself.
That was silly.
TANYA is suddenly feeling great.
TANYA loves this dress.
TANYA looks at herself in the mirror.
TANYA decides to wear the dress to the party.
TANYA smiles at herself in the mirror.
A lovely moment.
…
KELLY enters.
TANYA does not notice.
KELLY looks at TANYA.
KELLY: What the fuck are you wearing?
Blackout.
END OF PLAY.