1+1=2 BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)
ONE
ONE:
So, like, here’s the thing.
Sometimes I’m having a hard time.
Like, often times I’m having a hard time.
Most of the time, really.
And when people ask me, “How are you doing?”
I want to say, “Not too great, if I’m being honest with myself.”
And if they’re nice, those people will ask, “Well what’s wrong?”
And I’ll have to say, “I don’t know.”
Or maybe those people will ask, “What can I do to help?”
And I’ll have to say, “Probably nothing.”
Or maybe OTHER people will just say nothing and walk away.
And I’ll have to say to myself, “What an asshole.”
…
And none of that seems productive so when someone asks me “How are you doing?”
I just say, “Fine.”
I don’t even think about it.
All I say is, “Fine.”
Like a reflex.
I don’t even think about it.
Like one plus one is two.
How am I doing? Fine.
…
When I really think about it, though, it doesn’t feel good.
To just say fine.
When I’m not fine.
It feels shitty really.
And really…
When I think about how I feel…
I’d have to say…
Really…
Not fine.
I am not fine.
Are you listening?
END OF PLAY.