A LONG DAY’S JOURNEY INTO NONSENSE BY JEFFREY LO
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Lights up on CHARACTER.
As CHARACTER looks around, the lights slowly expand to reveal a bare stage.
CHARACTER: Hello?
Pause.
CHARACTER: Hello??
WRITER appears out of thin air.
WRITER: Hi there.
CHARACTER: Oh shit!
WRITER: Did I startle you?
CHARACTER: Yes.
WRITER: But you called for me.
CHARACTER: … Sure.
WRITER: Follow me.
CHARACTER: Why?
WRITER: Follow me.
CHARACTER: Ok.
WRITER and CHARACTER walk to the other end of the stage.
Suddenly, in front of them are HUMAN SIZED GNOME, HUMAN SIZED SARDINE and HUMAN SIZED CORGI.
CHARACTER is staring at them.
WRITER: What are you looking at?
CHARACTER: What am I - ?
WRITER: What are you looking at?
CHARACTER points at HUMAN SIZED GNOME, HUMAN SIZED SARDINE and HUMAN SIZED CORGI.
WRITER: Uh huh.
Pause.
CHARACTER: So?
WRITER: So what?
CHARACTER: Is that a Gnome, Sardine and Corgi?
WRITER: I believe so.
CHARACTER What are they doing here?
Pause.
WRITER: Who would you like to speak to?
CHARACTER: What?
WRITER: You can talk to whoever. Who would you like to speak to.
CHARACTER: I can speak to whoever?
WRITER: Yes.
CHARACTER: Umm… God?
WRITER erupts with laughter.
CHARACTER: What? What’s so funny?
WRITER: I meant of these three. Who would you like to speak to?
CHARACTER: Of the Gnome, Sardine or Corgi?
WRITER: Yes.
HUMAN SIZED GNOME, HUMAN SIZED SARDINE and HUMAN SIZED CORGI look at CHARACTER and all nod their head.
Silence.
CHARACTER: No.
WRITER: What?
CHARACTER: Fuck you.
CHARACTER storms off.
WRITER: What?
CHARACTER returns.
CHARACTER: Fuck you.
CHARACTER exits again.
Blackout.
END OF PLAY.