STOMP THE CLOCKS BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)
LES, in bed.
Suddenly, the soothing alarm on LES’ cellphone goes off.
LES: No. No. No. No. No. Please no.
LES snoozes the phone.
LES collapses back into bed.
A very brief moment of happiness.
Suddenly, a very loud old school alarm ringing is heard.
LES: NO! NO! SNOOZE! SNOOZE!
LES realizes something.
LES: Wait. What? What alarm is that?
LES checks their cellphone.
It’s still in snooze.
LES: What?
LES crawls all around the bed, under the sheets.
Looking for the culprit of the disturbance.
LES: What are you!? WHAT IS MAKING THIS NOISE!? LEAVE ME ALOOOOONNNNNE!
It’s not in the bed.
LES looks in the drawer of one of the nightstands.
Nothing.
LES checks the other nightstand.
Aha!
LES pulls out an old school alarm clock.
LES: There you are!
LES doesn’t know how to turn it off.
LES: How do you snooze? Do you snooze? What are you?
LES bangs the alarm clock on the ground.
Nothing happens.
LES is bordering on panic.
LES: Where did you even come from!?
LES throws the alarm clock across the room.
The alarm clock explodes.
Quiet. Finally.
A final gasp of breath from the alarm clock.
LES: Don’t you dare –
The alarm clock dies.
Quiet. Again. Finally.
LES sighs in relief and gracefully plops between the sheets.
Suddenly, a more aggressive, loud old school alarm ringing is heard.
LES (from under the sheets): WHAT!? WHAT IS HAPPENING!? WHAT IS HAPPENING!?
LES emerges from the sheets.
LES: WHAT IS HAPPENING!? (With a sudden growl) WHAT... IS… HAPPENING!!!???
LES looks in the drawer of the nightstand.
Nothing.
LES looks in the drawer of the other nightstand.
Nothing.
LES’ breathing is becoming monstrous at this point.
LES is really starting to lose it.
LES: HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY SLEEP FROM ME!!! YOU MONSTER!!!!!
LES jumps off the bed, throw the sheets everywhere, desperately looking for the clock.
Nothing.
LES throws the pillows across the room.
Nothing.
LES flies to the floor and checks under the bed.
Aha!
LES emerges with another alarm clock.
LES (Yelling into the alarm clock as if it were someone’s face): WHO ARE YOOOOOUU!?
LES stares at the alarm clock.
Blood vessels have probably popped in LES’ eyeballs.
LES (Screaming in every possible intonation): NO! NO! NO! NO! (And perhaps a few more…)
LES stands up and drops the alarm clock to the floor.
Lights shift drastically.
Maybe we suddenly hear a voice over of “FINISH HIM!” from Mortal Kombat.
LES stomps on the alarm clock over and over.
Again and again.
And again.
Stomp... Stomp... Stomp...
Each time getting more and more aggressive.
Stomp!
Stomp!!
Stomp!!!
The alarm clock finally dies.
LES’ breathing is deep.
LES’ eyes possessed.
There is no way LES can fall back asleep at this point.
But finally.
Quiet.
Then suddenly, filling the entire room, the loudest, most obnoxious alarm clock ring anyone has ever heard begins to echo within LES’ room.
The alarm penetrates her mind.
The alarm penetrates her soul.
The alarm breaks LES.
Tears start to pour from LES’ already bloodshot eyes.
LES screams and screams.
LES’ phone snooze has ended and begun to alarm again.
The sound of the phone’s soothing alarm tone is drowned out by the blood curdling harmony of the alarm clock ring and LES” scream.
Dissonance.
Horror.
END OF PLAY.