This Is Not An Excuse (A Play About Not Jeffrey)

THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE (A PLAY ABOUT NOT JEFFREY)

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A guy standing alone on stage.

He is MAYBE 29 years old.

He is MAYBE Filipino-American.

He is MAYBE a playwright.

Let’s call him… NOT JEFFREY.

It doesn’t really  matter what we call him really.

We can call him whatever we want.

Except Jeffrey.

He is most definitely, most certainly, for sure NOT JEFFREY.

NOT JEFFREY: So…look. This is not me making any excuses. But I have the flu. And I thought I was recovering but a few hours into the day it turned out I am TOTALLY not recovering. And I’m working on this big project in addition to this long extended project and that big project is really coming down to the wire and is taking up a lot of my time and energy and… 

NOT JEFFREY Catches himself.

NOT JEFFREY: This is not an excuse. Even though if I needed to make an excuse, I would have a very real and understandable one. Because there is just so much going on in my brain and in my body and in my heart but still… This is not an excuse. THIS IS ME DOING WHAT I SAID I WOULD DO DESPITE THE FACT THAT I WOULD HAVE A VERY GOOD EXCUSE TO NOT DO IT.

 NOT JEFFREY looks around.

Is the audience confused?

Probably

NOT JEFFREY is confused.

NOT JEFFREY is panicked.

We better save him before this goes too far.

TURN OFF THE LIGHTS!

BLACKOUT.

 END OF PLAY.